Tweet
Here’s a list of real-life remarks that real-life bosses said in real-life business situations. If I recall correctly, most of these came the personal experience. In any case, the list contains some true classics:
- “Am I the only one around here with half a brain?!”
- “I know my plan won’t work, but don’t disagree with me in front of others.”
- “I only say those things to look tough. I’m reshaping my image for advancement.”
- “I tried to e-mail you to tell you that my e-mail wasn’t working, but my e-mail wasn’t working.”
- “If you are on schedule, then your plan was not aggressive enough. If you are behind schedule, you must be goofing off.”
- You don’t want a union! I know I don’t pay you much per hour, but I give you lots of hours. If you want more money, just work more hours! A union will take that flexibility from you.”
- “I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my final decision.”
- “We’ve experienced dramatic increases in our long distance bills. In the future, please exercise restraint concerning long distance phone calls, faxes and emails.”
- “I’ve noticed that our ‘cost of goods sold’ rise whenever we experience greater sales. What can we do to reverse this trend?”
- “What this department lacks is leadership.”
- “Don’t worry, give it a try. You have nothing to fear but failure, demotion and termination.”
- “I’m getting a new company car new week. Please call the dealer and ask him to delay the delivery until after Wednesday’s layoffs. I want to appear sensitive.”
- “Your report shows that 65% of our customers live outside the Unites States. Well, where are the rest of our customers? Pay attention to these details in the future.”
- “This marketing campaign will have a worldwide focus.”
- “Bonuses in my department are rewarded to team players who have demonstrated an appreciation for my leadership.”
- “I don’t want to force this decision on you. It would be much easier if you just agree.”
- “I’ve already made up my mind, but I am eager to hear everything you have to say on the matter.”
- “Next time, if you leave me an important voice mail message, do the right thing, call me and let me know it’s there.”
- “Fairness is applied evenly, according to my rules.”
- “I know there is a communication problem in my department. I just don’t want to talk about it.”
- “We have too many unproductive meetings. Please put aside next Wednesday to attend an all-employee staff meeting to discuss this issue.”
- “I know what the research reports says, but I have to go with my gut on this one.”
- “I don’t like to micro-manage, but I need to know everything that’s going on.”
- “Okay you bunch of cry babies, what’s this I hear about bad employer-employee relations?”
- “I know that I am great leader. This department, however, needs help learning to follow.”
- “Just because you’re right more often than me, doesn’t mean you’ll be a better manager.”
- “We do things democratically in my department…and I’m the ruler.”
- “Whenever you have an idea, discuss it with me first, and if I feel it is a good idea, I’ll tell the others. You must learn to let me get credit for your good ideas. That’s what team work is all about.”
- “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be the shining star in this department.”
- “I think you prefer your idea JUST because it’s better than mine.”
- “It has come to may attention that your salary is well below the industry average. Therefore I am changing your title.”
- “I threw your suggestion away. Only managers can make suggestions.”
